Harper is a senior at Providence college. This was their first summer volunteering as a Band Counselor for Girls Rock Camp. They’re planning to go to graduate school next year to be a social worker.
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I went to the original Girls Rock camp [in Portland, Oregon] and played guitar. And it was life-changing.
I am transgender, gender queer, and identify transmasculine. And Girls Rock camp was a really interesting experience in my process of coming to that realization because on one hand, it was super empowering. It was, “I know me best. And I am in control. And I have good ideas about myself.” And on the other hand, it was, “Oh my gosh. Women are awesome and badass and so cool. And why don’t I want to be one?” I kind of felt like I was betraying feminism by not wanting to be a girl. So it took a really long time to get to a point where I was OK with being a feminist and not female.
I had gone to another music camp the year before I went to Rock camp. I was really confused about what was going on [so] I went up to my guitar teacher after class and said, “I don’t know how to play chords.” And he said, “Oh OK. It’s this, this, this, and this. Got it?” And I was like, “OK,” and went back to my bunk and cried. And then, from that time on, I would just pantomime playing. I didn’t play for the rest of music camp.
And here, it’s very much, “I don’t know what’s going on.” “OK. What do you need to know? And how can we help you know it?” It’s so much different. There’s no assumption of what people know here. There’s no, you know, degrading anyone for not having any experience, or anyone who knows more or less - everyone’s encouraged to ask for what they need, give help when they can, and really focus on the effort instead of the end result.
Wherever I go to grad school next year, I’m going to try and find the nearest Girls Rock camp. I just hope the campers can keep this experience with them, and take something from it, feel good about what they do here - however they can do that.
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_Harper’s story is part of a weekly series called ON THE MIC that shares voices and faces from camp this summer. _A new story will be posted every Tuesday through the end of the year. The stories are produced by Alex Braunstein of One Little Did.__
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